A Bunch of Visitors
by MiSSxMELON
Summary: Either the most retarded or hilarious thing written!


A Bunch of Visitors  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter or any other characters you may see...  
  
A/N: If you're offended by this, I'm not going to apologize because you're just being an overacting loser. I mean come on if I wrote your name and dissed you, then that would be offending.  
  
Chapter 1: A Bunch of Visitors  
  
"I'm bored." Hermione sighed. She would be reading but Ron got mad and burned down the library. But then she would be doing homework but Ron burned that, too. In fact Ron burned down all the classrooms so Hermione was very bored.  
  
"I am, too." Ron sighed as well. There wasn't anything left to burn; he had burned everything except for the room they were in. Well and everything in the room.  
  
"Yeah I'm bored." Harry agreed. But he was just agreeing with them. Really he was a depressed psycho who wanted to kill everyone because Sirius died. Oh and his parents. Oh and that scar was giving him a headache. Plus it was really hot from all the burning. (And really smoky, too.)  
  
All of a sudden a man appeared in the room.  
  
"Who are you?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Hmm, someone to burn..." Ron cackled to himself evilly.  
  
"Darn you're not Sirius or my parents..." Harry sighed.  
  
"Uh, where am I?" the stranger asked.  
  
"Well what's left of Hogwarts. Now tell us who you are or we'll hand you over to Ron." Hermione said impatiently.  
  
"And you don't want to go to Ron. He'll burn you." Harry added.  
  
"Um, I'm _Captain_ Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl, savvy?" Jack said proudly.  
  
"Black Pearl?" Hermione asked curiously.  
  
"It's my ship, my lady." Jack replied, grinning.  
  
"Is it...made of wood?" Ron asked hopefully.  
  
"Of course, my lad." Jack said impatiently.  
  
"YAY!! CAN I SEE IT?!!!" Ron exclaimed happily.  
  
Then, out of nowhere, the Black Pearl appeared. It fit in the room because I'm the author and I said it does. Now shut up and read.  
  
"Uh, well here it is." Jack said, confused.  
  
"YAAAAAY!! BURN BURN BURN!!! DIEEEEEE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Ron screamed madly as he took out a flame torch and lit it up.  
  
"Isn't that...a muggle appliance?" Harry asked slowly.  
  
"Well, Ron's gone absolutely insane. And I'm bored." Hermione sighed. "BY THE WAY, do you have any books in that ship?"  
  
"Well, I have a book when we wrote the Pirate's Code." Jack said. No one knows who exactly wrote it, it probably wasn't a pirate but more of someone who wanted to make it official for parley.  
  
"Ahh!!! BOOK!" Hermione yelled as she dove into the ship that was on fire.  
  
Jack was oblivious until now that his Black Pearl was on fire.  
  
"HAVE YOU GONE OUT OF YOUR BLOODY MIND? I HAVE RUM IN THERE! I MEAN, IT'S BAD ENOUGH YOU BURN DOWN MY...MY PEARL, BUT THE RUM, TOO? WHY THE RUM? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? _WHY IS THE RUM GONE_?" Jack yelled furiously.  
  
"Rum? Where?" Harry said, looking around. Harry apparently is addicted to rum in this story, because the author said so. Now shut up and read.  
  
So Harry dove into the ship and got some rum. Hermione and Harry walked out, perfectly fine since they were good guys and of course they can jump through fire. Voldemort appeared.  
  
"Wow, you jumped through fire and you're perfectly fine! I wanna try! Lemme try!!!" Voldemort said like a five year old child.  
  
So Voldemort jumped through the fire like a crazy, hyperactive kid and caught on fire and burned into ashes. Of course this happened, he was a bad guy, what did you expect?  
  
"THE DARK LORD HAS DIED! YES! NOW WE ARE ALL SAVED!" Harry cheered. Hermione and Ron joined in the cheering... but Ron was mostly cheering on the fire.  
  
"MY SHIP! MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK PEARL! HEY YOU, YOU STOLE THE RUM! GIVE IT BACK!" Jack yelled as he jumped on Harry. He gulped down the rum in a flash and jumped back into his ship, sailing away even though it was on fire and there was no water. The ship just sailed away because the author said so. So shut up and read.  
  
"Mwahahahahhaa, you may have killed one evil person plotting to take over the world, but I am another evil person coming to take over the world!" a voice cackled.  
  
"Who are you?" Hermione asked in a bored tone.  
  
"Do you have rum?" Harry asked wildly.  
  
"YA GOT ANYTHING I CAN BURN?" Ron asked, yelling at the top of his lungs.  
  
"No, but I am Sauron, and I am the Lord of the Rings!" Sauron cried.  
  
"Uh, if you want a ring you can go down the jewelry shop." Hermione said slowly.  
  
"Nope, I burned it down." Ron said simply.  
  
"All of them?" Hermione asked, her eyes opened wide.  
  
"Well I burned the whole world down." Ron said impatiently.  
  
"NO! YOU ALREADY HAVE DESTROYED THE WORLD? AH, WHAT AM I DOING HERE? MY JOB IS FOR WORLD DOMINATION! QUICKLY, SEND ME TO MARS!" Sauron screeched.  
  
"Uh there's nothing living on Mars." Hermione said blankly.  
  
"THEN I SHALL PUT LIVING THINGS ON THERE AND THEN TAKE OVER IT!" Sauron declared.  
  
He disappeared instantly. A few minutes passed by of silence. Then,  
  
"I'm bored." Hermione sighed.  
  
"Me, too." Ron said.  
  
"I'm not! (The author remembered Harry was a depressed psycho who wanted to kill everyone.) AIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Harry yelled as he pulled out a knife from no where and killed Hermione and Ron.  
  
"Hey mate what's wrong with you?" Ron said, bewildered.  
  
Hermione and Ron were supposed to be dead, but they were still alive.  
  
"We cannot be killed!" Hermione and Ron declared in unison.  
  
The author got mad and decided they had to be wrong and the author had to be right and killed them. Then she got mad that Harry took all the rum and killed him, too.  
  
The End.  
  
A/N: WHOOEE MY FRIEND AND I ARE PUNCH DRUNK AND THAT'S WHY I WROTE THIS! WITH HER LAUGHING ALL THE WAY BEHIND ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA  
  
Review? 


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